spelling bee moderator: contestant 142, your word is “fergalicious”
contestant: *looks around nervously* um… could i please have a definition?
moderator: *flips through dictionary* “fergalicious. definition: make them boys go loco.”
Jesus, pasta salad! Don’t startle me like that!
I feel like the cat is challenging the lizard to a break dance battle or something
Got rid of my bedframe. And the box sping. I’m planning on just leaving the matress on the floor. My room looks 3 times bigger already.
Apparently, this was the guy who was deported for being too handsome.
Suddenly, I understand.
Pretty sure it’s not just women they should have been ‘worried about’ not being able to—what was the wording? Control themselves?
That guy is hot.
I’m straight as an arrow and a Jew and I’d let him do things to me so vile they’d make Moses rise from the dead and punch me in the throat.
At which point, Moses would take a look at that guy and ask to join in.
FUCKING CHRIST THIS POST GOT BETTER
When a thousand Mary Poppins came from the sky to defeat Voldemort
plot twist: the London Olympics Opening Ceremony is in fact a crack!fic
My roommate got sent a 2.5 pound box of sour gummy worms and these are the nutrition facts.